Relationships within families are important. These relationships can be complicated. From the moment there is a conflict, communication between all members involved will often have great consequences. Especially regarding those involved as well as others who may be dragged into the conflict, as with children in cases of divorce.
These conflicts require holistic solutions, which take into account all issues and parties, in order to improve the relationships between them, and to find legal solutions. It is therefore recommended to consult with a mediator specializing in family conflicts.
Familial relationships are often emotionally loaded and the role of the mediator is to unravel the knots of the conflicting parties, with great sensitivity.
Family mediation is a form of mediation between family members, such as couples wanting to divorce, and conflicts between several generations. This includes conflicts involving grandparents, in their senior years, their children and their grandchildren, regarding successions, family responsibilities, parental custody, inheritance and other family issues, including “Continuous Power of Attorney”.
Family mediation is a process that takes place outside the courtroom, saves money and time and minimizes the stress on the parties and their families.
The purpose of the mediation is to reach an agreement that will be permanent . The agreement is binding and once approved by the court becomes a court verdict.
A conflict, whether between a couple in process of divorce or an inter-generational family conflict, regarding finances and inheritance, can be mediated and resolved as long as the parties can reach an agreement.
What is the Mediation Process?
During a marriage, the lives of both parties are intertwined and legally considered a single family unit.
Ending a marriage means legally rearranging all matters such as financial, property and above all those relating to the children.
The Role of the Mediator
The mediator’s role is to manage the process of divorce in which all relevant issues are eventually settled. To enable the sides to reach final agreements without court intervention, the mediator will lead the parties to reach an understanding and arrive at acceptable solutions for both. The understanding of both parties are drafted into an agreement which the couple sign and it is approved by a judge.
The mediator leads the sides to freely discuss issues and negotiate terms, in order to reach agreements on all issues relevant to each side.
The separation of a couple and the disintegration of the family entails emotional stress. This stress often prevents the sides from communicating reasonably and therefore they often require a neutral third party mediator. The mediator will facilitate communication between the parties in order to focus on the points they wish to settle in an agreement.
About the Mediation Process
The mediation process involves several meetings in which relevant issues are discussed. The number of meetings depends on the degree of difficulty in communication between the sides and the extent of their readiness to reach an agreement.
Inter- Generational Mediation
As parents get older, conflicts between family members often revolve around issues such as taking care of aging parents, financial issues, wills and inheritance.
The elderly are concerned about different issues than those that worry younger people. By age 70, 80 or 90, a person will often need assistance to cope with medical, financial and other issues.
Dealing with these new situations requires collaboration between all members of the family.
Elderly parents should discuss family issues with their children and/or the children should talk about it among themselves, in order to settle points of contention and arrive at agreements.
Old dynamics between family members are often present. In order to arrive at agreements regarding daily care, custody, finances or inheritance, family members must cooperate.
When family members do not cooperate, a Mediation process becomes vital and may ultimately even improve relationships.
Family conflicts are often emotionally loaded, consisting of long term and complex relationships. Therefore, a mediation process is necessary to meet a family’s specific needs.
The mediation process should lead to direct communication regarding the issues at stake, in order to help close gaps. As a result of the mediation process, relationships improve sufficiently to arrive at some level of trust.
Following the mediation process, the mediator together with the sides will draft an agreement, which in most cases will then be presented to the court for approval.
Collaborative divorce is a process which originated in North America. According to this procedure, a couple seeking a divorce is each represented by his/her lawyer. The lawyers collaborate in order to solve all legal issues, in order to avoid going to court.
In addition to the parties being represented by their lawyers, the process is unique in that the lawyers work together as a collaborative team. According to need, the lawyers may involve other professionals such as therapists or financial consultants. Together they form a team that works together to solve all the relevant issues in the best interest of the family.
Couples experiencing collaborative divorce tend to cooperate to avoid additional suffering to the children.
The members of the professional team work closely together to provide a holistic solution. The purpose of this process is to reach understandings, which are drafted into an agreement, without the need to involve the court. Like mediation, it is founded on the basis that the parties enter the process willingly and determined to reach an agreement.
All information is kept within the process and cannot be exposed in court.
Shared parenting is by two people (not a couple) wanting to parent a child.
While it is difficult to prepare oneself in advance for the necessary changes that come with the birth of a child, one must prepare the practical aspects, such as the legal framework for shared parenting.
Shared parenting becomes the “common project” of two parents, for which they must arrange all aspects of their lives, such as finance, time allowance, residence, the legal (parenting) status of the partners of each parent, the child’s education, the degree of grandparent involvement and other relevant issues.
The birth of a child is a life changing event, affecting the dynamics between two people. Thus, it is also an event that can change the relationship between two friends, who do not live as a couple and have decided to have a child together.
Naturally, two people deciding on shared parenthood, must understand the change a new baby brings to their lives.
As a mediator, my role is to help both future parents to arrive at understandings on all issues relating to their future parenthood, which plays a major new role in their lives.
At the end of the mediation process, the points agreed upon are drafted into an agreement which is presented to court for approval.
I am ready to help with my professional experience as a mediator and lawyer in all the practical, legal and emotional aspects of the process towards becoming parents in shared parenting and to draft the final contract.